Being Siblings.............

Is to pay off each other debts from previous life ma??? Buddhist believes that being husband and wife, brother and sister or relatives is to pay off debts. Perhaps that's true. Was very sad last nite to hear my sixth aunty said that my 2nd brother is going to commit suicide soon if he can't settle his financial problems. Have helped him many times and I've my own life too. Why must everyone gives me their problems just because i don't have kids and am stable. I've my own sets of problems too and how are they going to help me? When they have problems, they got wife, kids, sisters to talk to. What have I got??? I can only keep my unhappiness to myself. Really do not know when can I fulfill my dreams and go for lasik? Have told my aunty that I'll help him as much as I can and that's the max that I can do. Without savings, who's going to look after me when I'm old. Really do not know why am I in such a family. Those who are rich refused to help. Can't blame them. Who on earth will wanna help a compulsive gambler? I really hope that my 2nd brother will keep his promise not to gamble any more. So long as he don't gamble, there's always hope and a better 2moro. And no one will look down on you and avoid you. Be a better person, my dear brother. i'm really very very SAD..... so, please help yourself for your own good.

SICK AND TIRED OF WORK PLACE>>>>>>>>

Alot of things had happened at work and I really feel damn lousy and dishearten to go to work. Got to drag myself to work every day. Can't sleep well at nite and has been praying each day that I will not see day light so soon. Cos that will mean that I've to face another day of pain and agony. How not to call for work??? What are some good excuses??? That I'm a danger to others.... I'm contagious........ I won't be productive today as I've menses cramp or You face just make me sick and puke.................. So what if I stay at home??? I'm still afraid of this n that. Fucking loan sharks has been disturbing me. They broke my gate last nite. When can all this nitemare end??? When can I start all over again??? Will humans and GOD give me a chance to do so. I swear that I'll not be miss nice anymore.... I swear that I'll not be softhearted anymore..... I swear that I won't be people's guarantor anymore and I swear upon my life that I'll not lend people $$$$$$ anymore. All the above has caused me misery. Not only to me but my family too. And I'm really sad and sorry. Whatever I do or say now is pointless as the damaged is already there. Sadiq's wife told me that Sadiq has depression. To me, though i sympathize, I think he asked for it. What makes her think that in long run I won't have depression. It could be a good thing that he's being caught now. Worst things could have happened later, who knows. Hope that he'll be a better person after his release. At least, he don't have to worry now where to find or cheat $$$$ to pay this or that person. Take it as a stressless break for you Sadiq. I hope that when you're out of jail, you'll see my blog and return me my $$$. I've helped you to settle alot of your debts. And Lee Ting's 2K too. All of us are a victim. All because of you. I really hate you.